tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86534426927105643952024-03-13T18:06:15.652-07:00Dump & AdaptThe observations, frustrations, and methods of adapting for two Christian Conservatives, in a Liberal World filled with NPD.
All identifying information has been altered to protect the innocent.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-58516417170105055112010-03-08T12:04:00.000-08:002010-03-08T12:36:51.598-08:00Forgiveness & Absolution- Not the SameWe had a discussion recently about the need to forgive narcs in our heart, but not when they half heatedly ask for forgiveness of some wrong they've done. It forced us to really think and differentiate between Forgiveness and Absolution or Accountability.<br /><br />Normals, will feel shame and guilt and want to seek forgiveness of someone. Normals are humble; they accept and acknowledge their role in the disagreement; they don't dismiss their mistakes or try to lessen their transgressions. Normals don't make an issue of the other person's transgressions (dodge responsibility), because they are repentant. Normals know they did wrong, and it doesn't matter what triggered it; it was wrong, and they want to acknowledge they were wrong. Normals acknowldege that they feel horrible at how they made the other person feel.<br /><br />Narcs, on the other hand, have no compassion, so they never acknowledge how badly they make other people feel. They feel no remorse for the harm they cause, on the contrary, they try to blame the other person for causing them to make their mistake. They do try to lessen the severity of their transgressions by putting the blame on someone else. They are rarely repentant.<br /><br />However, some narcs have learned that if they ask for forgiveness, it accomplishes all that they want: absolution for their mistake and they don't have change one iota to receive that absolution. They don't have to feel the guilt or remorse and with a few select words their mistake disappears. They can utter a few words the the Accountability for their actions disappears.<br /><br />I've advised folks to NOT forgive a narc in that type of situation, since that will enable that narc to make the same mistake over and over and over again. Without that guilt, to firmly plant the 'wrongness' of an action into our brains, we won't learn to stop those behaviors- but especially a narc.<br />And a friend reminded us of the true nature of forgiveness. That it is the act of letting go hurts, regardless if the offender has made amends or acknowledged their role in the transgression. It is in the hands of God to determine the justice, and that is not forgiveness. That Christ was our attonement, and we should forgive without question and without reservations.<br /><br />When it comes to narcs, they don't really want Forgiveness, they want to Not Be Held Accountable for their actions; they want absolution. Confusing and contrived semantics, we know, but with narcs that very thin line of distinction is there.<br /><br />Narcs will demand absolution without repenting. They want their sins to be magically whisked away each and every time, so they DON'T have to change, or feel guilt or shame or think about others first, or behave as Christ directed (love your neighbor as yourself).<br /><br />Survivors and Accomadators of Narcs, MUST forgive them, because truly they don't know what they are doing; and our sanity and survival depend on the release of hurts that forgiveness brings to our hearts..<br /><br />Narcs have discovered that the Ways of Evil are so much easier and successful at getting what they want; but they aren't consciously evil. That conundrum will drive Accomodators and Survivors crazy without that Forgiveness towards Narcs. Forgiveness offers Surviors the release of pain and suffering, otherwise they go crazy in a variety of ways: addictions and unhealthy compulsions, or they committ suicide whether that is physical, emotional or spiritual.<br /><br />Forgiveness is a Spiritual Matter; intangible, a matter of faith. Accountability- or more succinctly Absolution -is Physical, and Tangible: the part where the offender must acknowledge what they did was wrong and regret their actions, then make ammends for the harm they caused.<br /><br />For a narc, the most grievious, deadly sin is to admit they were wrong, and make ammends for their mistake. Accountablilty is a Narc's Kryptonite.<br /><br />We had to learn the subtle differences between Forgiveness and Absolution; and with the narcs in our life: NEVER confuse the two. We must forgive narcs in our heart; it saved our sanity.<br /><br />That is one of those boundaries we discuss: decide at what point you will be willing to offer Absolution to a narc, without their true repentance. What transgressions can you forgive and offer aboslution towards, with NO REPENTANCE from the narc, and they will most likely blame you for the transgression. <br /><br />Which mountain are you willing to die on; which issue is worth the battle? Find those issues, and draw that line in the sand. And be firm: no absolution without repentance... and with time and persistance and tenacity, the narc will learn that one boundary.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-50684164920256404872010-03-08T11:54:00.000-08:002010-03-08T12:41:56.369-08:00Coffee Party Movement, a Carefully Constructed UniverseWe were recently alerted to a <em><strong>New and Improved</strong></em> political movement known as the Coffee Party Movement, which grew from the rantings of a very young lady on her FaceBook page. You can read more about their movement at the link below, as well as, see the video that we transcribed for this editorial.<br /><br />This speech, by the Coffee Party Movement founder- Annabel Park, is an excellent example of hypnotizing that Narcs do so easily. Her thoughts and ideas are general in nature with sentiment that appeal to everyone, but until you begin to look for those narcissistic ‘tells,’ you really can’t see how devious this is.<br /><br />We present the speech, with our notes at the end. Can you spot those D List and Narc behaviors that are so cleverly hidden? I’ve numbered the paragraphs/topics to help identify any notes for that paragraph at the end of the speech.<br /><br /><em>1. I wanted to... umm... tell you about a group that started on FaceBook a couple weeks ago. I kinda lost it and started ranting on my FaceBook page about the frustration I felt listening to news coverage that made it seem like a Tea Party was umm representative of uhhh America.<br /><br />2. I completely disagree with this. And I started, youknow, writing comments about it on my FaceBook Page and then there was a flurry of ..[giggle] instant feedback from other people who agreed with me and similarly felt pent up and frustrated.<br /><br />3. The Group is called The Coffee Party Movement and obviously we are referencing the Tea Party and we are an alternative to the Tea Party (sic- run on sentence).<br /><br />4. And we want to see cooperation umm in (sic) among people in congress and government. And we want to see people who are representing us move towards solutions for the problems... instead of... you know...strategically obstructing any form of progress. Many people feel this is an effective electoral strategy to win youknow Republican seats in 2010.<br /><br />5. And we object to {stutter} Obstructionism and extreme political tactics that are- I think- fear based, not reality based, and in many ways (sic)deliberate misinformation....<br />So we are organizing. We want people to understand that we are voters and we're going to come out to vote. We’re going to participate in the process. We are going to make sure that we hold folks accountable for Obstructing Progress in Government.<br /><br />7. We need everyone engaged in the political process; that is the only way our government can function as an expression of our collective will.<br /><br />8. We need people in this country and the media to understand: That this is America! We believe that we are representing ordinary Americans. And we believe that we are in the Majority.<br /><br />9. We really have a collection of people who value diversity; are diverse; and we are completely comfortable with the changing demographics of our country.<br /><br />10. You know, I think that it’s human for people to be nervous about, youknow changes in their neighborhood and in the demographics of this country, but it’s not something that should be encouraged. And it certainly should not be an opportunity for political gain. And (sic) and I think really the Politicians are exploiting that fear and anxiety for political gain, they’re really the worst.<br /><br />11. We’re not saying that we have all the solutions, but we need cooperation to solve problems.<br /><br />12. Youknow if you have people who are out to obstruct, even dialog, then we can’t have a functioning government (sic- run on sentence) and I think that it might be that , youknow, we have some solutions that are more in line with Fiscal Conservative, but we do know that none of these things can be considered at this point, because we are so divided and the process has broken down. That's why we are organizing because the process has broken down.<br /><br />13.Do you want to see cooperation or do you want to see obstructionism in Congress?<br /> <br />14. Do you believe the government can help us address these enormous problems we are facing? You know.. If you don't believe the government has any role... then...yeah sure, you should join the Tea Party.<br /><br />15. But, youknow, there are many of us who believe we have to have the government addressing these things; representing our interests.<br /><br />16. People in Congress... they are paid by us; we hire them. Okay, they work for us, right? They don’t work for corporations or a sliver of our demographic; they are supposed to represent us. That’s their job.<br /><br />17. And we need to start acting like Bosses. We need to start acting like thethe Board of Directors, like, we need them to get to work! youknow Instead of fighting! And we need people to get out of the way. So this is an open invitation for people to participate believing that the government should function for our interests.<br /></em><br />NPD Notes... each note is addressing the corresponding topic from Annabell Park's speech above:<br /><br />1. Any public venue such as FaceBook is a Narc’s feasting grounds. The public display, adoration, potential for defensive situations, self controlled privacy settings with the option of no privacy, the ability to block individuals, all of this can cater to a Narc’s need for admiration while control those who will disrupt the delusions.<br /><br />2. Oh, she is PC by saying that she Disagrees that the Tea Party represents Americans, but it is her giggle that folks started agreeing with her that is her ‘tell.’ She was giddy that she had so many folks who would validate her beliefs, ie, supply her with someone to bolster the delusions.<br /><br />3. This infantile tactic of creating a group that is diametrically opposed to a well established more popular group- is something that most of us out grew in junior high. This is a narc wanting to Dismiss and Destroy something that is impeding the forward momentum towards their goal;<br /><br />4. Narcs cannot tolerate any disruption of the delusions, nor anyone preventing the momentum towards what they want. She demonizes the opposition by inferring they are obstructing good and valued legislation that ‘will help people.’ The failure of her logic is that, this obstructing is a direct result of Americans who believe it will PROTECT a very large number of people.<br /><br />5. Dismiss, demean and destroy any arguments that disrupt their delusions.<br /><br />6. This is a common tactic for the narcs in our lives: threaten folks with something that most of us would find lame. This is tied to their delusions of grandeur that because ‘they of the specialness’ are gathering to stop you, you must be afraid and stop what you are doing so they don’t have to do anything.<br /><br />7. Oh this is a major Tell: Our Collective Will. Although she says it as a general Third Person voice... that ‘royal habit’ of speaking of oneself in the third person is there. She is trying to lend validation and credibility to her movement by including ALL of Americans within that Collective Will. The failure of her logic is that her values and beliefs DO NOT represent a huge number of Americans.<br /><br />8. Narcs love to state the obvious, since no one can argue with them, but it also is an appeal to draw folks in. State an obvious frustration and you will get folks attention. Another tell of her NPD, they Believe they are the Majority... and open invitation to come join her Carefully Constructed Universe or you risk not being a part of the more Popular Group. Sure, her opinions echo the vast majority of folks who are within her Universe, but that logic falls apart when looking at the ENTIRE nation, and not just the confines of her group of friends at Facebook and their like minded friends outside of that social network.<br /><br />9. This manipulation is trying to lend validity that they have a Wide Representation, so they aren’t pigeonholed as bigots- because they represent only a ‘sliver’ of the nation’s demographics. This section is trying to dismiss those who believe in Traditional Values by demeaning them with the inference that they are Uncomfortable with the Changing Demographics.<br /><br />10. Narcs must demonize all those who disrupt the delusions or any forward progress towards our goals. Narcs dismiss anyone’s feelings that disrupt their delusions as unimportant or emotionally/mentally unstable.)<br /><br />11.Narcs seem humble when they say things like this, but when you read between the lines you get: I don’t have ANY of the answers, but I really like those answers over there that see to my needs.<br /><br />12. Again, Narcs like stating the obvious because it garners them empathy and draws folks into their universe. Of course the fighting in Congress is impeding forward movement towards help for the people... her logic on this fails, because our Congress has FOUGHT BITTERLY OVER ISSUES FROM ITS VERY INCEPTION. The Fighting- THAT is the process of our Government. The fact they are angry over this fighting, is their Narcissistic Tell: Congress is fighting over something they want, and they must do everything to remove the Disruptions to what they want.<br />The Fiscal Conservative notion- given that EVERYTHING else she has said is pretty much socialism in disguise- again, just a tease to disguise their true motives and beliefs and to create the delusion that they are truly diverse.<br /><br />13. Ms. Parks is the Rodney King of her people crying "Can’t we just get along!?" This is how she demonizes Obstructionism as the evil that is preventing all the good.<br /><br />14. As all good narcs, Ms. Parks lacks that foresight and logic that would help her see, that Conservatives will see right through her socialist agenda. No, government is not supposed to take care of your personal problems, like changing your diaper.<br />Then she demeans and dismisses the Tea Party movement as one that believes government should not have ‘any’ role in helping the people, and if you are stupid enough to believe that, then yeah you deserve to be a member of the Tea Party.<br /><br />15. Ah, the familiar exaggerations and delusions of grandeur that ‘many’ folks, the majority of folks want government to take care of their interests... and she throws in those words our nation was built on- to lend validation to her weak belief: represent us.<br /><br />16. Narcs never hesitate to use a tactic that works- even if that tactic was created or used by their enemies. This is one way they appear to be wishy washy... first she infers and demonizes the Tea Party and their beliefs, but then uses one of their tactics by saying the Government Works For US! But like a good narc, she then she infers that the Government doesn’t work for the Corporations, nor a Sliver of Demographics... the government works for THEM and they are the MAJORITY.<br />Again, the narc’s logic is always their undoing. Our government system was established to Protect the Minority while bending to the will of the Majority. Her delusions of grandeur make her believe that the government should listen to them, and only them, because in her eyes, they are the majority.<br /><br />17. Her final words of the speech, tell us everything we need to know:<br /><strong><em>We need to start acting like thethe (sic) Board of Directors, like, we need them to get to work! youknow Instead of fighting! And we need people to get out of the way. So this is an open invitation for people to participate believing that the government should function for our interests.<br /></em></strong>All wrapped up in a air tight narcissistic bow: delusions of grandeur, selfish interests, manipulation, someone should take care of their needs for them, and those who would disrupt all the needs and wants and delusions must be demolished- they are non-human anyway and don’t count.<br /><a href="http://www.coffeepartyusa.com/">http://www.coffeepartyusa.com/</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-16098878153164679582010-03-08T11:50:00.000-08:002010-03-08T11:54:06.750-08:00Narc Accomodator Recovery & Set backsOk, my sibling has agreed to let me speak alone. I’ve received criticism for ‘seeing’ NPD every where. Fair enough; seek and ye shall find. If all you look for is XYZ, then that is all you will find.<br /><br />I began speaking about NPD,- very hesitantly- in some forums, because I really do enjoy that board and didn’t want to step on toes. However, I finally realized that some self defense/coping skills had kicked in, as well- that if someone is mad at you for what you said, you don’t deserve to speak any more.<br /><br />Narc Accomodators and Survivors learn that we do NOT have the same rights as everyone else; we are, at best, second class citizens. We spend our lives in conflict of angrily fighting ‘injustice and double standard’ that we are worthy and have rights, but then acquiescing to that unworthiness within the confines of our personal relationships with narcs.<br /><br />The Road of Recovery for a Narcissist Accomodator/Survivor is an ongoing challenge. This is no different than any other Recovery; we have set backs and the return of old behaviors or old conditioned responses. All we can do is to study what happened to understand the responses and find better ways of ‘coping and responding’ in the future.<br /><br />How do I know the Coffee Party Movement is the Carefully Created Universe of Narcs? Because of my conditioned, instinctive response to their Founder’s speech.<br /><br />I was furious. That self centered, ignorant, spoiled brat! Doesn’t she see that those folks she wants to ‘get out of the way’ are AMERICANS?! Is she trying to say that HER PEOPLE are MORE EQUAL than those Americans she wants out of the way?! Doesn’t she understand that what She and Her people want, could hurt millions of folks, and that is what the Obstructionists are fighting?! Congress stop fighting and get to work!? Is she stupid?! Has she not read any American history?! Congress Fighting Over the Issues is the backbone of how they work; and they’ve done that from the first meeting in 1776!<br /><br />The next morning, it was staring me in the face: If you are tempted to call an adult infantile or a spoiled brat.... you’ve been narced. My instinctive-conditioned response was my internal conflict of being devalued by a narc, and her manipulations and machinations were so subtle and clever,.... that even I didn’t see the devious nature... at first.<br /><br />If you do fall victim to a narc, don't feel stupid. They are very, very, very, good at their manipulations and machinations. Even survivors get 'decieved' by some of them.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-3058464349103183852009-12-30T17:57:00.000-08:002009-12-30T18:26:57.781-08:00Deflecting Accountablity over Underwear BomberWell, we tried to take time off for the holidays, but we should have known better. Narcs rarely take time off from their manipulations.<br /><br /><a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20091230/pl_politico/31049">http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20091230/pl_politico/31049</a><br /><br /><em>Eight years ago, a terrorist bomber’s attempt to blow up a transatlantic airliner was thwarted by a group of passengers, an incident that revealed some gaping holes in airline security just a few months after the attacks of Sept. 11. But it was six days before President George W. Bush, then on vacation, made any public remarks about the so-called shoe bomber, Richard Reid, and there were virtually no complaints from the press or any opposition Democrats that his response was sluggish or inadequate. </em><br /><em></em><br /><em>That stands in sharp contrast to the withering criticism President Barack Obama has received from Republicans and some in the press for his reaction to Friday’s incident on a Northwest Airlines flight heading for Detroit. Democrats have seized on the disparity and are making it a centerpiece of their efforts to counter GOP attacks on the White House. </em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“This hypocrisy demonstrates Republicans are playing politics with issues of national security and terrorism,” DNC spokesman Hari Sevugan said. “That they would use this incident as an opportunity to fan partisan flames … tells you all you need to know about how far the Republican Party has fallen and how out of step with the American people they have become.”<br /></em><br />Well, of course, Obama is going to catch more heat, we've had 8 years to learn how to spot these things, and it was Missed Under HIS WATCH.<br /><p></p>Trying to compare what President Bush did with a similar incident is deflecting the focus off ONarcy.<br /><br />The Democrats are throwing mud at anyone who dares hold the ONarc accountable- SOP Narc D List: dismiss, disparage, destroy, the opponent as a means of deflecting the focus off the real issue 'Homeland Security Failing on their Watch' and dodging accountablity for their mistakes.<br /><br />A Narc's last act of definace is to question the 'sanity' or validity of his opponent.<br /><br />In truth, we believe it is the Democrats who are refusing to see how 'out of touch' they are with America.<br /><br />This is from a group of once loyal Democratic supporters (Hillary fans) , and who now sound like Conservatives. Seriously, you will read things there, that Conservatives were saying over 18 months ago about Obama. <br /><div><a href="http://hillbuzz.org/">http://hillbuzz.org</a></div><br /><strong><em>Warning!</em></strong> they have some content that is definitely Mature Audience; don't let the children read through this unsupervised.<br />Regardless, we appreciate and respect these folks for bucking their party and standing up for what they believe is right. Their piece on protecting Trig Palin in public from folks throwing objects at his mother Sarah, that would make any Conservative wipe a tear from their eye.<br /><a href="http://hillbuzz.org/"></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-58230451908980955262009-12-22T10:15:00.000-08:002009-12-22T10:28:55.818-08:00Year End ThoughtsWe’ve been busy with real live over the last few weeks, so we are dumping a few things onto this blog that are not as current as they should be.<br /><br />These are things we’ve said to folks, when trying to cope with the scary things coming out of DC.<br /><br />We can say that Obama has succeeded in One of his claims in his campaign: He brought about Change, just not in the way he expected.<br /><br />He awoke a sleeping giant, a Silent Majority who had been complacent in their political actions, because they never had to be in their lives. Obama forced us to stand up, speak out, and not be so tolerant that OUR rights are trampled under the boot of Progressive Facisim.<br /><br />We can't say this often, nor loud enough: Conservatives have way more power over this administration than what they believe. It is Pyschological Power over the President, given his NPD. All we have to do is speak out; question; find the flaws; speak out; speak out; speak out.<br /><br />The one thing Narcs absolutely, positively cannot tolerate is the slightest hint of Doubt to Disrupt their Delusions. We need to be tenacious, persistent and respectful in voicing our objections to his plans, and he will rely on his proven methods even more, which will reveal all his faults and lack of experience much better than we can from here in the rank and file.<br /><br />Write to your Congress members. Write to the White House. Speak Out. Ignore the old rule that Politics are not discussed in Polite Conversations. Speak Out. Obama cannot tolerate anything that will disrupt his delusions, and that will cause him to truly Melt Down and explode. And all we did, was follow our Constitutional Rights of Free Speech and Holding our Congress to the Constitutional themes of Government By the People and For the People.<br /><br />We don't have to persuade the dye in the wool, far left wing radicals; we only have to sway those 10-15% of voters who voted for Obama, because they didn't like the Republican candidates. We need to retake the Congress to start with, then we can proceed to regain our nation.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-12876758342292562962009-12-22T10:14:00.000-08:002009-12-22T10:15:38.636-08:00Start of School Speech ScandalWords just can’t quite impart how bad that stunt truly was, and had this been done by a Conservative, there would have been impeachment hearings before the first day of school.<br /><br />The whole mess was, yet, another Narc Ploy to be the center of attention.<br /><br />Get everyone all riled up, and say nothing while the tempers flare hotter and hotter.<br />Send out his little puppets to smear the opponents, thus adding fuel to the fire.<br />Get everyone, even those without children, so angry that they will want to watch the speech to make certain he isn't pulling anything.<br /><br />(How to make everyone watch you without you pitching a fit, or demanding they watch).<br />Then... on the eve of the event... post the (second, third or weekend draft) to make the opponents look stupid for ever doubting him.<br /> <br />So What were all the D List maneuvers or Narcissistic behaviors surrounding that School Speech?<br /><br />The Speech and everything he did with it, was manipulative; a narc’s most successful tool.<br />He announces that he is going to present a speech to every school child in America. It is an unwritten rule that when the President of the United States says, ‘Jump!’ You Jump! This is Obama’s need to be the center of Attention; it reinforced his Narcissistic sense of Entitlement; it offered some distraction from the debacle of his healthcare bill going up in flames.<br /><br />This was a narc’s need to further the Delusions of themselves to an audience who would be highly susceptible to the message. Narcs have a unique ability to find those captive audiences who won’t be able to respond negatively or will automatically be respectful. Speaking to children in an educational setting would place an undue burden on them to ‘comply’ or be punished academically and socially.<br /><br />Obama did NOT release a transcript of the speech. He hid the content of his speech, even after the uproar against it. This action follows the psycho-pathology of Deception, since his 'Administration was going to be one of Transparency.' Refusing to post the speech points to a greater probability of ulterior motives in the maneuver; otherwise, he would have followed through with that Transparency Promise.He sent curriculum to the schools to be used in association with that speech; which on the surface sounds like a highly intuitive person to help the teachers utilize the opportunity for further learning.<br /><br />However, all recommended research Materials were exclusively about Barack Obama, which is another attempt to further the delusions about himself; to elevate his importance in the world, and feed those fantasies of Power, Brilliance and his personal Success.<br /><br />The curriculum he provided DID NOT discuss the Office of the President, nor any other president, nor what the Constitution says about the role of the President; in other words- there was all this material focusing on Obama, but no Civics Lessons to justify the President providing teachers with a study plan for his own speech. This is that need to continue the delusions of his Specialness and restricts any comparisons and critical thinking that could diminish the delusions about him.<br /><br />The Curriculum questions and suggested reading gave Clues to the content of the Speech, and the Clues pointed in a completely different direction than the reported topic. Bait and switch, distract, detour... tell folks one thing to get them in the room, and then surprise them with the true nature of the event.<br /><br />The Secrecy, the questions placing an undue burden of compliance on children, all research material focusing on the man and a lack of civic’s lessons...This method of withholding the information that folks wanted, and providing only Clues as to what ‘else’ he would be saying to the children....This is classic passive-aggressive manipulation and it’s Deceptive.<br /><br />Then to dodge responsibility in the mess, and to try to ‘get everyone to like him, again,’ he changed the curriculum and the government website to reflect his ‘new and improved’ version of the facts. He also sent out half a dozen folks to slander, defame and attack the opposition. At no time, did the officials offer a copy of the speech; no where did they offer Facts; just derogatory opinions about the opposition.... which is more manipulation and just adds more weight to the deception: why didn't he release the transcript of the speech, as soon as the fit hit the shan?<br /><br />Everything about the way he handled this disaster...all the secrecy, the passive-aggressive manipulation with the Clues, and the ‘changing of the official site’ to hide his malfiecience... all of it is deceptive.<br /><br />The problem could have been easily avoided: Be Transparent. Say what you are going to do, then do what you said. Release the Speech beforehand.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-62811670566302025012009-12-22T10:11:00.000-08:002009-12-22T10:39:08.737-08:00Speeches, Work Ethic, and The Nobel PrizeWe were amazed at how fast it took folks to realize that this president was good at speeches, but won’t ‘do’ anything to make them a reality.<br /><br />Obama’s G20 Speech where he told the world that they should not view the USA as a Problem Solver and that the world should work with us to solve the issues...<br /><br />This is a Narc trying to guilt and shame others into doing what the Narc doesn’t want to do: get his hands dirty with actual work. Narcs are masters at speechifying and are very charismatic in luring folks into their own delusions/visions. They simply lack everything else necessary for making those glorious dreams into a reality. That is what they rely on the folks around them to accomplish, so that they can take the credit.<br /><br />"The world should work with him to create a Nuclear Free Planet." More of those Grandiose Ideals that narcs instinctively gravitate towards, but have NO CLUE on how to actually implement the ideals. In the eyes of a Narc, that is what ‘grunts’ are for- like the Secretary of State, his Cabinet and his staff. Case in point, Hillary’s ‘tough talk’ to the Pakistani government.<br />Tough talk, what hypocrisy. Conservatives have been saying that for decades, but if GWB had said anything like that, we would still be hearing the backlash- from the rest of the world, the liberals and mainstream media. Tough talk is okay when it comes from a administration who is too afraid to back it up? Tough talk is imperialistic aggression when it comes from an administration who will actually ‘do’ something about a problem. Oh, yes, there is that Narc Double Standard in play.<br /><br />One of the best jokes we’ve seen on Obama winning the Nobel is a button:<br />Caller #7 wins the Nobel Peace Prize.<br /><br />On one hand, it is infuriating, because this will feed his grandiose delusions about himself. This is an Enablement far worse than actually giving a junkee a dose of their favorite drug. For a junkee, the cold reality of life will set in as soon as the drug wears off; not so, for a narc.<br /><br />On the other hand, this will feed his grandiose delusions about himself, and empower him to move even faster and with more aggression than he did the first 6 months of his administration. This will embolden him to pull stunts that are more illogical and easier to dismiss... such as...<br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/12/banning-and-bashing-fox-news.html">Banning and Bashing Fox News</a><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/12/banning-and-bashing-fox-news.html"></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-77065516896850162372009-12-22T10:09:00.000-08:002009-12-22T10:11:04.039-08:00Banning and Bashing Fox newsI’ve read where some bloggers believe this is an Obama melt down, and to an extent, I believe this is true. When narcs are badgered with Facts and Obstinate Dissenters, they don’t try to reason with them; no, a Narc’s first line of defense is to start attacking with such an intensity and extreme accusations that most folks are left dumbstruck by the attack. The back cover of Ann Coulter’s recent book describes this tactic perfectly.<br /><br />However, a Narc’s last ditch effort to cope with a Dissenter, is to detach; after all, (in the narc’s mind) the most grievous thing someone can suffer- is to be denied the presence of someone so Special as the Narc.<br /><br />Obama ‘banning’ Fox news- that is not an Angry meltdown; that is an act of desperation. With Fox News disrupting his delusions, and his complete inability to stop them, or guilt them, or shame them into compliance, he is doing the only other trick in a Narc’s D List Play Book: ignore them and refuse to speak to them- as a last ditch effort to bring them into compliance.<br /><br />Personally, we believe the Bureau Chiefs were a day late and a dollar short in their response to this. They should have pulled this ‘All For One’ maneuver the Sunday Obama did the Talk Show Circuit and ignored Fox. It will take the Bureau Chiefs twice as long to ‘un-ring’ that bell, than if they had stood their ground on that Sunday several months before. Now with a Nobel Prize sitting on his mantle, Obama will be more ferocious with his insults and D List tactics to bring the mainstream media into compliance with his visions and desires.<br /><br />Obama’s Fox News and Conservative/Republican bashing is not over. As his methods and tactics fail to work, he will be forced to morph them with new issues, and new insults. The verbal assaults will escalate, and will get even more illogical as his Narc Paranoia begins to take hold of his cognitive abilities.<br /><br />And it is this predictable psycho-pathology that allows us to not worry about our nation.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-7392429779606110202009-12-22T10:07:00.000-08:002009-12-22T10:09:03.120-08:00Fear, Paranoia and HopeIn general, we are not worried about our Nation under this President, no matter if is he truly Muslim, Fascist, Marxist or Socialist. We’re not worried, because Narcs can't help themselves. They ALWAYS ALWAYS self destruct. Not intentionally, but they always self destruct.<br /><br />They get so caught up in their own Delusions, that they loose track of the truth and reality, And THAT is their down fall. They continue to speak 'their' interpretation of the truth, which everyone else will see as a lie. OR, in Obama's case, he will continue to speak to how great his vision is, and there won't be enough staff to scurry around making those visions into reality and his grandiose plans/administration all falls apart. Just like his health care package....<br /><br />Regardless the path, the end destination is always the same: their scam is uncovered and they must move onto the next victims, or their victims disengage out of self preservation.<br /><br />The D List Tactics work amazingly well on a personal level where individuals can be manipulated. However, on a grand scale like the USA, there are too many critically thinking, intelligent, rational people who will see through the masquerade and won’t have anything to Loose by exposing the delusions. On a personal level, loved ones learn to NEVER hold the Narc Accountable, because their retaliatory explosion will be devastating; that simply isn’t the case on the scale of an entire nation.<br /><br />I’ve read so many folks are terrified of what Obama would do to ‘punish’ this nation, if we don’t blindly follow him. The possibility is there, but our lifelong experience doesn’t reflect that potential. Narcs build their self esteem on their Delusions. They spend all of their time carefully protecting and nurturing those delusions, both in themselves and others. They don’t have the emotional capabilities to build new delusions in others; their final act of defiance is to simply Leave. Narcs will detatch from those who no longer believe the delusions, and then disengage from the situation entirely. In those rare instances, when a narc cannot disengage... they go postal... and we do mean postal. But with Obama surrounded by law enforcement and so many people to hold the Office of President in check...an Obama retaliatory explosion would only hurt those in the immediate vicinity. Narcs loose all control of their cognitive abilities when pushed too hard; they lash out at those closest to them-in an effort to push someone into rectifying the situation that caused the explosion.<br /><br />With Obama at the top of the food chain, he won't be able to use all of a narc's D List Tactics (deflect, dodge, dismiss, detour, destroy) to deceive his way out of the mess he is building. With as Fast as he is moving, and the bull in a china shop ferocity.... His presence in the White House will end with a bang... a really big bang. A Big Bang that will make Nixon's departure look like a Celebration of a Job Well Done. With what he and Pelosi have done in such a short time.... it could devastate approval ratings of the Democratic Party for a decade or more.<br /><br />We have faith in God that he will see us through these difficult times. We have faith in our Nation and its People to overcome and thrive in spite of the troubles. We have no doubts that Obama is a pathological Narcissist and that psycho-pathology is much easier to predict than the weather. The one thing we can't predict is how Big the Bang, nor how fast it will come... that depends on Congress and how much pressure their Constituents place on them. Or how badly he burns the Mainstream Media... and he is setting them for a doozy.<br /><br />The Moderate, Centrist, and Conservative Congressional members have way more power over the President than what they realize. Granted, that isn’t Legal Power, but psychological power. All they need to do, is their Job: Question, Doubt, Point out weaknesses, and Speak Out; we can’t emphasize that last one enough; Speak Out. Narc’s cannot tolerate any dissension against their words or ideas. Doubts, weaknesses, numbers that don’t add up, merely speaking out using simple facts will drive a Narc to the breaking point; when they loose their control, and pull really stupid stunts like ‘banning’ Fox News.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-58420690446831958192009-08-24T21:11:00.000-07:002009-08-25T06:23:41.131-07:00Obama Weasles Out of His Mistake with D List<span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Over the last few weeks, we’ve been carefully watching the ObamaCare Cataclysm as it has been pummeled by Conservatives and defended, weakly, by the White House and the Speaker of the House.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">On August 23, 2009 Senator Joe Lieberman Abandoned Support for the Obama Health Care Bill.<br /><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32531250/ns/politics-capitol_hill">MSNBC</a> </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><u><span style="color:#0000ff;"><a href="http://www.swamppolitics.com/news/politics/blog/2009/08/lieberman_obama_should_scale_b.html">Chicago Tribune</a></span></u></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/24/health/policy/24talkshows.html?_r=1">New York Times</a></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The Very Next Day, the White House announced that the President had created his own little Interrogation Unit that would report straight to him.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/08/24/obama-administration-sets-new-interrogation-unit/">Fox News</a></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"> </span><br /><a href="http://news.yahoo%20dot%20com/s/ap/us_cia_interrogations_analysis"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Yahoo</span><br /></a><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br />I know this will go viral in the Conservative Bloggersphere, and bring out even more comparisons of Obama to Hitler, since we have no guarantees that Obama won’t use this Unit against American Citizens... just like Hitler used his SS Troops against the German people. Obama is <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/defalcate.html">Defalcating</a> more power under his direction.<br /><br />Later that same day, Obama reignited more animosity and <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/decoys-distract-discord.html">Drama</a> by appointing a veteran federal prosecutor (along with his newly created Interrogation Unit) to begin a criminal probe of the CIA and any other entity potentially involved with the alleged abuse of Gitmo Detainees, during the Bush Administration.<br /><a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_cia_interrogations_analysis">Yahoo</a><br /><a href="http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/AP/story/1200716.html">Miami Herald</a><br /><a href="http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/08/24/cia-probe-is-terrible-politics-for-obama-dem-strategist-says/">CNN</a><br /><a href="http://www.stltoday.com/blogzone/the-wire/2009/08/24/cia-probe-could-distract-from-obamas-top-concerns-including-health-care/">stltoday.com</a> - CIA Probe Could <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/decoys-distract-discord.html"><strong><em>Distract</em></strong></a> from Obama's Top Priorities, including HealthCare. (<em>So let's just stand up and say it out loud!)</em><br /><br />Well, it took us reading articles all day on the CIA and the New SS Interogation Unit for us to see what this REALLY is.<br /><br />We knew if given enough time, the Narc in him would burst out with such HUGE mistakes that he will not only loose the Congress in a few months, he will be lucky that they don't Impeach him for treasonous acts against the Constitution and America. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br />What we are seeing here is Obama’s Narcissism Racing around desperately trying to Do anything and everything possible- to Prevent the Truth from <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/delusions-delusional-delude-others.html">Disrupting the Delusions</a> about him.<br /><br />He has pulled almost ALL the D LIST within the timespan of only 2 DAYS!<br /><br />He is <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/deflect.html">Deflecting</a> Blame from his disastrous health care bill by pointing out someone else's mistakes, AND <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/disrupt.html">Disrupting</a> the negative coverage with a Bait and Switch onto someone else's sins. A very common Narc Tactic to 'hypnotize' their victims.<br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">He is <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/dodge.html">Dodging</a> the Negative Press on the Health Care, by changing directions in midstream and forcing everyone around him to run around with their heads cut off trying to make this new direction work. Just watch his subordinates in the next few days, as they 'dodge, deflect, & detour' around the questions that will deluge them.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">He is <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/decoys-distract-discord.html">Distracting</a> the Public and the MSM with <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/decoys-distract-discord.html">Decoys</a>, and causing <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/decoys-distract-discord.html">Discord and Drama</a> by dragging up issues he 'swore' he would leave behind. All of this will prevent folks from continuing to focus on the HealthCare bill and hold him responsible for the debacle.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">He is <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/detour.html">Detouring</a> the current issue by forcing the Press to focus on something that will make him look good, while....</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/deflate-diminish-destroy.html">Deflating, Diminishing, Destroying, Demolishing</a> the former Administration and the CIA and anyone else he can find.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">All that is left is for him to <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/demolish-deny.html">Deny</a> that he ever tried to ram the Health Care Bill down our throats, oh and of course, to deny that he won't use this Personal Interrogation Unit against the American People.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:130%;">If there were ANY doubts that our current President has NPD, this little Dramatic Routine has successfully obliterated those doubts.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:130%;"></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-73889091985843955922009-08-21T22:50:00.000-07:002009-08-21T23:27:34.016-07:00They are Tired of the Obama-Hitler ComparisonsOne of us read a blog entry that went into great detail about World War II and the Nazis and Hitler and that this person's father was a prisoner in a German POW camp. The father had first hand experience of the cruelty of Nazi's and Hitler. This person was tired of seeing swatzstikas and 'Nazi' being blazoned over Obama's Face or on signs at the Health Care Rallies and this person was tired of people comparing Obama to Hitler. And in a very eloquent speech of heart wrenching tears, this person some how considered these Comparisons as an Insult to the Father and that Generation.<br />You can read the blog entry here:<br /><a href="http://www.themudflats.net/2009/08/21/nazis/">http://www.themudflats.net/2009/08/21/nazis/</a><br /><br />Since we knew that the author would never post my response, we put it here:<br /><br />I disagree that Obama's Healthcare will 'up lift' any one, nor will it allow people any type of health care. This isn't Politics, this is simple math.<br /><br />We currently have a shortage of doctors for the people who do go to doctors; predictions are saying (if nothing changes and Obama's plan is defeated) we will still be short up to 200,000 doctors in a matter of years.<br /><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2005-03-02-doctor-shortage_x.htm">http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2005-03-02-doctor-shortage_x.htm</a><br /><br />Obama's plan has absolutely NO contingencies for how our current shortage of doctors is suddenly going to be able to care for millions more patients. This isn't politics; this isn't money; this is plain and simple math.<br /><br />The doctor to patient ratio will soar exponentially. This will mean lengthy waits for doctor's appointments; and <strong>it will mean a rationing of care</strong>- NOT JUST FOR THE ELDERLY, BUT FOR EVERYONE.<br /><br />There aren't enough doctors now, how can that possibly IMPROVE, when millions more people try to visit a doctor? Even a 3rd grade student can see that several hundred thousand doctors cannot take care of millions and millions of patients.<br /><br />Using Canada's system is a recipe for disaster... even the Canadian Medical Association recently said "their system is imploding."<br /><a href="http://www.google.com/hostednews/canadianpress/article/ALeqM5jbjzPEY0Y3bvRD335rGu_Z3KXoQw">http://www.google.com/hostednews/canadianpress/article/ALeqM5jbjzPEY0Y3bvRD335rGu_Z3KXoQw</a><br /><br />I could respect your feelings on folks calling each other names, but then you don’t chastise your followers for doing the very thing you speak against. If you are going to chastise someone for calling names, then you should chastise your followers as eloquently as you did your opponents.<br /><br />I’m afraid you aren’t fully aware that comparisons of Hitler to Obama deal with a Personality disorder- not Politics. A personality disorder that allows the person to lie through their teeth so eloquently that people gobble it up as Gospel Truth; it allows them to be unbelievably cruel and gloriously Charming in the next breath.<br /><br />Narcissists are Chameleons; Snake Charmers; Con Men of the greatest skill. They are great Orators, but they never actually DO anything to accomplish their lofty goals; no, the rely on others around them to work furiously to make those dreams come true, which rarely do. They are arrogant and condescending, but they speak so well, that this is disguised as confidence.<br /><br />Hitler was a Pathological Narcissist-NPD allowed him to be so cruel and consider it a Hero's Job Well Done. Obama's actions and personality traits are indicative of his having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This is the comparison; not their politics.<br /><br />I truly do respect your thoughts on Hitler's cruelty and comparisons to anyone else will seem disrespectful. For those of us who live with Narcissists, we can see Obama as the Hitler of the 1920's: a wonderful Orator who could rally folks, and make them see a better future under his leadership... until the People gave him absolute power over them, and then they discovered that he felt a responsibility to only one person and he would stop at NOTHING to get what he wanted.<br /><br />Obama's rush- gotta get this Health Care Bill Passed NOW! DON'T READ THE DA*N BILL JUST GET IT PASSED. I KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR THIS COUNTY AND YOU ARE AN IDIOT FOR DOUBTING MY GREATNESS AND MY VISION.<br /><br />Yes, this is EXACTLY what he is saying about folks who are simply asking questions about the Numbers That Don’t Add Up. He was so concerned that he set up a Spy network for common folks to ‘report anyone mis-speaking about the Bill.’ Since when did a Government need it’s people to Report what someone else said? Hitler did this to control the backlash against him. http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/Facts-Are-Stubborn-Things/<br />Ironic that Obama got the FACTS WRONG: AARP does NOT support the bill.<br /><a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2009/08/21/health-reform-aarp-astroturf-and-the-co-op-public-plan/">http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2009/08/21/health-reform-aarp-astroturf-and-the-co-op-public-plan/</a><br />Well, Narcissists will say anything to cover their lies, or lie to make their wishes come true.<br /><br />All of these are the actions of a Narcissist not caring how this will affect folks, how it will affect our children and grand children, not caring how much it will cost; not seeing that the Doctor Numbers simply don't add up to the Patient Numbers; this is a Narcissist stopping at nothing to get what he wants: the adoration of the multitudes and when they turn on him for not delivering what he promised... well, he has already used one of Hitlers’ tactics, we can most certainly expect more of the same.<br /><br />I do respect your father and I am honored by his sacrifice and service. One of my godsons received the Silver Star in Iraq and his brother was beside the hole when they pulled Hussein out; my father served in the Air Force, and I have always lived in a town with a military base or two... so I do understand the sacrifice and I respect the service. But I take offense to your leap of logic that folks seeing the similarities between two powerful people is somehow an insult towards your father. Your Father’s generation would be the first to say that it isn’t.<br /><br />Now, I don't expect you to post this, and I do apologize for being blunt... but if you are buying Obama's Beautiful words, then you are one of his victims; just as the German People were Hitler’s victims. That is what Narcissists are good at: Beautiful Speeches full of Sound and Fury; signifying nothing.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-34221958278496084082009-05-18T13:22:00.001-07:002009-05-18T13:24:25.065-07:00You've Been Narced!Here are some clues to use when determining if you've just interacted with a narc...<br /><br />If you leave a conversation emotionally drained, or over wrought and you can’t ascertain why that simple conversation turned so ugly.... you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ve</span> been narced.<br /><br />If you leave a conversation where you were personally attacked, but you are more concerned about what you might have done to provoke the attack....you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ve</span> been narced.<br /><em>"Oh my gosh, that was brutal. What did I do to provoke that person? How can I make it up to them?"</em><br /><br />If you leave an argument where the smallest of your statements receives an overly aggressive reaction... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ie</span>... over reaction... you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ve</span> been narced.<br /><em>"Oh, the cover art is green and blue, not pink and yellow, like you suggested. I spent hours looking for that cover art, only to realize... it was on my desk the whole time."<br />And the Narc launches into a tirade that would make Stalin quiver.</em><br /><br />If you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ve</span> had an argument or disagreement in which the other person refuses to accept responsibility for their role in the conflict... you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ve</span> been narced.<br /><br />If this argument continues to rage, and the other person refuses to acquiesce and offer their apologies, after you offer yours... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ie</span>... they have no compassion for you and your hurt feelings in this conflict... you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ve</span> been narced.<br /><br />If you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">ve</span> had an argument, that you did not start, but the other person continues to hold you responsible for it... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">ie</span>... denying they had any part in creating the conflict... you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">ve</span> been narced.<br /><br />If you have a moment sometime later, days, weeks, hours... where you are in the shower or fixing dinner and you realize that YOU did NOTHING wrong to provoke an attack... you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">ve</span> been narced.<br /><br />If you leave a conversation where you are dumbstruck and are questioning the logic of the other person, you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">ve</span> been narced.<br /><em>"The man is stupid to believe that will ever work!"</em><br /><br />If you have ever made the statement, that woman acts like a spoiled brat! Or that man is like an overgrown child!... you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">ve</span> been narced.<br /><br />If you leave a conversation where you question your own memory, because what the other person vehemently professes, is the complete opposite of what you remember happening... you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">ve</span> been narced.<br /><br />When someone accuses you of something that you would never do- and their accusation hurts you deeply, you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">ve</span> been narced, because they have done that very thing and needed you to be the scapegoat.<br /><br />If you leave a meeting in which you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">ve</span> agreed to do something against your better judgement, you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">ve</span> been narced.<br /><br />If you leave a conflict resolution meeting in which you had all the documentation to verify your side of the story, but your concerns were not addressed, and you received no satisfaction and instead, have agreed to shoulder more responsibility to make sure this injustice never happens again.... you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">ve</span> been narced.<br /><br />If you leave an argument in which the other person is so entrenched in their point of view, that they question your sanity for not agreeing with them.... you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">ve</span> been narced.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-89877454226804534312009-05-18T11:14:00.000-07:002009-05-18T13:06:27.033-07:00Coping Mechanisms & Techniques for Normals<span style="font-family:arial;">Copyright laws prevent us from including material from Dr. Bernstein's book on Emotional Vampires; regardless, if you suspect you have a Narc in your life, we cannot emphasize strongly enough- to buy his book and read it. His analysis and recommendations have been invaluable for us.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But here are the Coping Mechanisms and Techniques that we developed before finding <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">NPD</span>, and have <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">adapted</span> from the resources listed on the homepage.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1. <strong>Control Your Emotions at All Times</strong>. Emotions are a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Narc's</span> greatest tools for manipulating and hypnotizing a Normal. This is NOT an easy task, but it is the single most important tool you must develop when dealing with a Narc.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">A.One way to control your emotions is to Change the Way you see the Narc. We have chosen to see them as Handicapped Children or Emotionally Retarded individuals. They simply do not have the capacity to behave properly. They do not think like the rest of us; they are not wired the same. We tell folks that Pity is one way of learning to control your emotions around them: would you get angry at a 6 year old child for the behavior your Narc Boss just did? Would you feel resentment towards a mentally challenged person for stealing your idea? No. Pity helps you to redefine the Narc, and provides an easier means of developing the autonomic responses to a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Narc's</span> Manipulation.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">B. Another way of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">controlling</span> your emotions is to train yourself to STOP! and <strong><em>think</em></strong>, when you get angry. Again, this difficult to do, but very effective when interacting with a Narc.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">C. <strong>Psycho-Cybernetics</strong> by Dr. Max <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Maltz</span> provides all the tools you will need to Reprogram your brain to create autonomic responses with Narcs- that will allow you to leave with your self esteem and integrity intact. This is another book that we cannot emphasize enough to purchase and read. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:arial;">Dr. Bernstein's Book 'Emotional Vampires,' and Dr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Maltz's</span> book 'Psycho-Cybernetics,' provide the One-Two punch for learning to recognize manipulations and how to program your brain to react better.</span></em></strong><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">2. <strong>Be very cautious in your conversations...</strong> unfortunately, you will need to be On Guard at all times.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">A. Keep the number of words in your conversations, & responses to a minimum. The more words you speak, the more ropes you give a Narc to hang you with.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">B. Keep your Concepts Simple. Again, the simpler the request, statement, boundary, the fewer loopholes you give them to use against you. Eliminate the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">If's</span> Ands Buts.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">C. Stick to the Facts; leave the emotions out of it. Facts are much harder for a Narc to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">DList</span>, and help to Keep You in Control of yourself.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">D. YOU CANNOT OUT NARC A NARC, DON'T EVEN TRY. Normals cannot use a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Narc's</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">DList</span> against them. We are ill-<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">equipped</span> to play Their Game, since they <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">ReWrite</span> the rules in every engagement. We have to think and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">strategize</span> to use their <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">DList</span>; they do it automatically.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">3. <strong>Establish Boundaries.</strong> For the Narcs in our lives, they have never been able to learn how to be a compassionate, caring, considerate humans, but they have learned Boundaries... at work, in their hobbies and activities, rules in the sports they play.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Boundaries can be very effective, but you must keep them to a minimum and they must be really important to you... or the Narc will manipulate you out of your Boundary.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">We spent Christmas and Thanksgiving with you last year. So, Narc Mother In Law, this year we are splitting our time between our families. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But you spent Father's day and Easter and the Fourth of July and every birthday with your family, I don't see how this is fair!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">And how is it Fair, that MY family didn't get to see us at Thanksgiving or Christmas last year. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Well, because they get to see you all year long!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">That's because they don't mind coming here to visit. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">From now on, we'll split the holidays between our families: Thanksgiving with One Family and Christmas with the other. We'll be spending Christmas with my family this year, so we'll spend Thanksgiving with you.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">So, you're telling me that I'll never spend Christmas with my grandchildren ever again!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">No, we'll switch out each year. We'll spend Christmas with you next year.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But I won't have anyone here for Christmas! I will be all alone!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">(this conversation would stretch on for over an hour, so keep the boundaries simple, repeat your self often, or the Narc will wear you down with their tenacity and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">obsessive</span> need to win the argument.)</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Where is (insert bi-weekly chore)? Why haven't you done this?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Ms. Narc Employee, I did that chore to help you out a couple of times, but that chore is in your job description, and you've been getting paid for the work I've done. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">You can't just dump this on me at the last minute! (the deadline is a week away) I can't get all my work done and this chore! Can't you do it one more time for me, maybe squeeze it in later this week?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">No, I will not do this for you any more. I have my own work to do, and right now, I'm going to get back to my work. Unless you want to continue this conversation with our supervisor, step back and let me get back to work.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I need you to stay and finish this paper work tonight.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Mr. Narc Boss, I can't stay late tonight. (Since I haven't been getting paid for any of the extra work you've 'defalcated' from me over the entire time I've worked there.)</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">What about tomorrow night?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">No, sir, I cannot stay late anymore.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">4. <strong>Offer a Narc a choice of actions: One you want and One they will hate</strong>.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">This is a technique used by teachers who work with emotionally scarred and handicapped children. Yes, since Narcs think much like an Emotionally Handicapped Child, the technique does have some level of success.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">For the conversations above, you could add to them.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">For the Mother in Law at Christmas Scenario....</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">You are more than welcome to join us here, and share Christmas with my family. We've spoken to your other children and they all would be glad to have you at their homes.</span><br /><div><div><span style="font-family:arial;">I would never intrude on someone <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">else'</span>s celebrations; I would be a fifth wheel at someone <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">else's</span> home. (i wouldn't be the center of attention)</span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;">Oh, we've all agreed that you would be welcomed here at Christmas.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;">I just wouldn't feel right, intruding like that. (i couldn't control the festivities)</span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;">You've been offered several invitations, but it is your choice: spend Christmas alone, or travel to one of your children and spend it with family. </span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;"></span> </div></div><br /><div><div><span style="font-family:arial;">No, Ms. Narc Employee, I will not do this work for you.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;">Well, can you squeeze it in later this week?</span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;">No, I will not do this for you any more, but <em>I will be happy to go with you to the supervisor to see if we can reassign some of your work load- of course that will mean a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">pay cut</span> for you since you won't be doing as much work.</em> (at which point, you need to negotiate a higher salary for doing more work than the Narc, because you are doing your work and hers, too.)</span></div></div><br /><em><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></em><br /><div><div><span style="font-family:arial;">No, Mr. Narc Boss, I can't stay late tonight.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;">What about tomorrow night?</span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;">Now, Sir, I cannot stay late anymore, <em>unless I get paid over time. And I will need to speak to (the boss's supervisor) and HR, to insure I get that paid overtime, before I work extra anymore.</em></span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;"></span> </div></div><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Narc's</span> will NEVER behave like a Normal, so you must learn to find different ways of interacting with them. These are a few of the techniques we use, Dr. Bernstein offers more in his book.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-45979751148982610262009-04-20T12:27:00.000-07:002009-04-20T12:59:08.534-07:00Narcissists in Movies, Books, TelevisionClinical descriptions and personal stories don't always provide a clear picture of what and who a Narc is. <br />The following is a list of characters we've seen that should help folks better understand the various facets and behaviors of narcs.<br /><br />This list will be ever growing, as we find more entries to add to it. For praticality, the entries are Alphabetically listed.<br /><br /><strong>Everybody Loves Raymond</strong>- Raymond, Marie and Frank are typical Narcs. Robert, Amy, and Debra are their Accomodators. Accomodators aren't necessarily Enablers, since it is in the best interest of the Accomodator to 'enable' the Narc. Accomodating is a self defense reaction from living with narcs.<br />Accomodators learn how to accomodate the Narc's needs, as a means of protecting themselves from the retribution of the Narc.<br /><br /><strong>Gone With the Wind</strong>- Scarlet O'Hara is a narc who uses manipulation to secure her own needs, and how her troubles always seem more horrorific than everyone around her.<br /><br /><strong>King of Queens</strong>- Carrie and Doug are both mild narcs; Carries' Father is a pathological narc. It is the use of manipulation and trickery to secure their needs that puts them in the category of narcs. They openly discuss actions that are 'wrong' but then they find the delusions to make those Wrong Actions acceptable.<br /><br /><strong>Married With Children</strong>-Peg, and Kelly are the Narcs; Al is their Accomodator, Bud is their victim for Deflation. This is another excellent 'exageration' of narcs working so hard to manipulate folks into seeing to their own needs, based on their desparation and lack of resources for supplying those needs. The childrens' antics to find food, is a great way to view narcs in their own antics to manipulate others around them.<br /><br /><strong>Mosquito Coast</strong>- Harrison Ford, River Phoenix. This is a disturbing but accurate portrayal of a narc, with all the Grandiose Speeches and Dreams; the idoit savant talent; the lack of concern for those around them; the eventual paranoia and the destruction of individuals who blindly follow a narc.<br /><br /><strong>Sienfeld-</strong> all of the major characters have varying degrees of narcissism. Their constant frustrations that create the comedy of the show are examples of what Narcs go through every day in trying to manipulate others to see to their needs.<br /><br /><strong>The Simpsons</strong>- Homer is a narc, in that, he rarely sees to the needs of his family, and always sees to his own needs. The fact his family, always accepts him after a catastrophe accurately reflects how family members learn to Accomodate a Narc .<br /><br /><strong>Sleeping with the Enemy</strong>- an accurate picture of a Physically Abusive Narc, including the obessive/compulsive tendancies, the manipulations, the over reactions and lack of real praise. However, we caution against believing this 'limited' picture of a narc. This will provide a Taste of what a narc is like, but by no means a full Meal. Mosquito Coast is more of a meal in describing the average Narc.<br /><br /><strong>Will and Grace</strong>- all four main characters have varying levels of narcissism. Jack's inability to care for himself, and the need to 'rely on the kindness of friends' to see to his every need is an accurate 'exageration' of what a narc does. The difference with Jack and most narcs is that Jack isn't as malicious with his manipulations, as most narcs are.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-83505410293840866142009-04-20T12:18:00.000-07:002009-04-20T12:22:34.129-07:00Carefully Constructed Universes<span style="font-family:arial;">Through machinations and manipulations ALL Narcs create a universe around them to see to their needs. Most of the time, this universe is not well defined, nor is there really any means of actually identifying that universe, until one gets stuck in it. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">However, there are Narcs who possessed enough intellect to physically construct a Universe around themselves. Jonestown, & the Branch Davidians are excellent examples of Narc-created Universes. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />We have no doubts that Jim Jones and David Koresh were pathological narcissists. They were able to successfully construct a Universe that would cater to their own emotional and physical needs, and then deluded others to join them in that universe, as their slaves.<br /><br />In these cases, the Narcs chose precepts of Religion as the building blocks for their Universe, including establishing themselves as gods of the universe.<br /><br />With the Cult of Personality tactics, hypnotizing/manipulations, they each were able to convince people to do things, they normally would never do- such as taking their own lives, and the lives of their children.<br /><br />Adolf Hitler is another one to create a Universe that catered to his needs. By surrounding himself with people who exhibited similar behavioral patterns as himself, he efficiently created a wall of humans to keep him seated as god of his Universe and protected from the outside forces that would remove him.<br /><br /><strong>Carefully Constructed Universes in Entertainment</strong><br /><br />In an episode of "King of Queens," the main character created an innovative Universe to see to all his needs.<br /><br />Doug had an Upstairs Wife and a Downstairs Wife, in which his real wife stayed upstairs and took care of his sexual needs, while a friend stayed downstairs to see to his dietary and validation needs (she fixed meals and talked with him while he ate.) This worked just fine until the two wives crossed paths.<br /><br />Jerry Seinfeld created an ‘insular’ universe where he could stand on stage and get validation from those ‘below’ him in the audience, and yet, the folks watching him were not allowed to join him- as equals- on stage. (Coming Soon: Narcissistic Characters in Fiction or Entertainment)<br /><br />Ray Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond), created his perfect universe by moving his family across the street from his parents. Since his wife was a strong individual, Ray needed the ‘reinforcement’ of his Narc Parents to sufficiently keep his wife distracted from his mistakes. By keeping Debra focused on dismissing remarks from his mother and the disrespect from his father, she wouldn’t consider Ray’s "Ds’ nearly as bad, thus, deflecting his responsibilities off him.<br /><br /><strong>Personal Experience with Carefully Constructed Universes</strong><br /><br /><em>The Family Vacation</em><br /><br />The Parents established one week a year that the whole family would go on vacation together. There was no discussion. Both Narc parents used their personal manipulation to ‘encourage’ their children to come: the father was excited like a child with toy, and the mother used guilt and martyr card.<br /><br />Each parent had needs, and as narcs had learned how to see to each other’s needs, and still have their own needs met.<br /><br />The Narc Father always wanted an Outdoor Vacation, so the Narc Mother demanded Indoor accommodations.<br /><br />The Father wanted his wife come along to cook and clean for the men, so the Mother demanded the week must include Mother’s day, as a manipulative means of getting ALL of her children to attend the Vacation. With Indoor Accommodations- the Girls would not have an excuse to stay at home.<br /><br />Every year, the family would travel to various Lodges- where the women would have creature comforts of home, but the men would be near hunting, fishing, or other outdoor activities.<br />Every year, the men and boys would spend a Glorious Week having fun. Every year, the Martyr Mother would stay in the lodge slaving over the cooking and cleaning, so she would have ‘debts’ to hold over her ‘boys.’ The Girls could not get the Mother to leave and go shopping in the various towns, or find entertaining activities for the ladies to do. No. The Mother stayed at the lodge, and through disapproving, hateful remarks, forced the daughters and daughters in law to stay at the lodge to keep her company. The Girls got to sit around and watch the mother, since helping would steal admiration and appreciation away from the Mother.<br /><br />For One Week a year, these Narcs had a perfectly constructed universe in which they were gods.<br />Another huge Family of mild Narcs always had the Family Reunion, the weekend of Father’s Day, to honor the Patriarchal great grand father. This was another event held outdoors, with camping tents, and sleeping bags, and the women would have nothing to do, but sit around waiting to serve the men and children. The in-laws of the family rarely got to see their fathers on Father’s Day, because of this annual tradition.<br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/carefully-constructed-universes.html">Carefully Constructed Universes part 2</a></span><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-55618322935841996592009-04-20T11:10:00.000-07:002009-04-20T12:17:40.813-07:00Carefully Constructed Universes- part 2<span style="font-family:arial;"><strong>The Perfect Narcissist Universe: Online Communities</strong><br /><br />Another Narc has been an absolute Genius in creating his Universe; he built an online community targeted towards specific hobbies.<br /><br />The Narc created a virtual community that had everything enthusiasts and hobbyists would want: personal storage areas, design areas to plan their next construction project, a show and tell section, an area similar to a library where members could add their resource materials, and an internal email system.<br /><br />The Narc created conversation areas for members to share their experiences and educate new members with tutorials, tips & tricks.<br /><br />He created an ‘all site’ search engine, so members could see all the finished projects, all the schematics, all the supplies, all the tools, all the resources, all the Show and Tells of every member within the community.<br /><br />Eventually the Owner added technology to sell instructions and schematics for the members’ own creations.<br /><br />The community grew incredibly fast, gaining hundreds of thousands of members within one year. The members were very vocal in the conversation area of how wonderful this site was! What a genius the Owner was to include so many features.<br /><br />Eventually, the Narc let the members create their own message boards where they could discuss one topic, that was NOT centered on the general community... like favorite books or movies or television shows.<br /><br />The one truly unique thing about this site, was that ALL the conversation areas were open. Anyone- at anytime- could join a conversation and add their opinions. There were no private conversations.<br /><br />By the time one of us joined, it was a thriving community with well established codes of conduct and behavior. What happened in the conversation areas and message boards DID NOT adhere to the written rules and codes of conduct as created and posted by the NarcOwner, regardless, there were well established behaviors, and expectations.<br /><br />The Owner would pop into conversations to add his ‘special insight’ which shouldn’t have been such a awe-inspiring incident, except the Narc Members made it a national holiday. As Narcs themselves, they believed they the Owner joined their conversations, because they were so special and deserving ( <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/3-narcs-are-special-everyone-else-is.html">Narc Trait #3</a>). The Owner being a Narc, enjoyed and encouraged the Admiration ( <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/4-require-excessive-admiration.html">Narc Trait #4</a>). All this excitement over the Owner joining a conversation, reenforced the <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/delusions-delusional-delude-others.html">Delusions</a> of the Narcs, and <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/delusions-delusional-delude-others.html">deluded</a> the Normals into believing the <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/delusions-delusional-delude-others.html">delusions</a>.<br /><br />I had discovered NPD only months before I joined the community, so I didn’t recognize the Behaviors for several weeks. Eventually I did, but not before I had been verbally brutalized several times by the members, and the Narc Owner himself- when I voiced my concerns about the bigotry, prejudice and potential crimes happening within the conversations.<br /><br />There were blatant <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/devious-deceptive-decieve-double.html">Double Standards </a>where ideologies from one side were never tolerated, but those who diametrically opposed those ideologies were given free reign to be vile, vindictive, vulgar and hateful . The average conversation was a staged <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/defense-defend-defensive-situations.html">Defensive Situation</a>- where the Narcs would instigate a verbal war to make themselves look the Victim. There were <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/disrupt.html">Disruptions</a> and Disrespect. There was obvious <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/deflate-diminish-destroy.html">Destroying</a> and <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/demolish-deny.html">Demolishing</a>; <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/decoys-distract-discord.html">Drama & Discord</a>.<br /><br />As Good Little Narcs, the instigators always <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/demolish-deny.html">Denied </a>their roles in the battles, <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/deflect.html">Deflected</a> blame onto their Victims, and <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/dodge.html">Dodged</a> all responsibility and accountability.<br /><br />Other Normals would complain to the Owner about the abuse they were suffering and how these people weren’t following his rules. The Owner would at first, Dismiss the victim for misinterpreting the actions, and if they didn’t begin praising the Owner for his wisdom (<a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/4-require-excessive-admiration.html">Trait #4</a>), (ie, they dared to question his authority and his ability to define what behaviors did or did not break his rules), he would punish the Complainant verbally. Lawyers- who were members just trying to enjoy a hobby- voiced warnings of potential lawsuits and crimes, but the Narc Owner ignored them. Contradicting a Narc is a cardinal sin, so he punished them with the one thing a Narc hates the most: disrespect by dismissing their opinions.<br /><br />To make matters worse, the members who caused all the <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/decoys-distract-discord.html">Drama</a>, were the ones who were loudest in singing the Owner’s praises. They were the ones who started financial donation drives to help the owner buy new equipment- so there would be plenty of room for the enormous database of the members’ belongings. They were the ones who would plant the idea in conversations that everyone should donate even more money to the site. The most Abusive members were the Narcgod’s best supporters, and most rabid- uh avid- fans.<br /><br />Eventually, Normals learned to create their own conversation areas and did not wander into other conversations. When the Normals left the Narcs’ conversations, the Narcs had no one to <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/deflate-diminish-destroy.html">Deflate & Diminish.</a> Consequentially, the Narcs began roam all the conversation areas like marauders looking for excuses to Disrupt, Dismiss, Disrespect, and create Defensive Situations, so that Normals could be Demolished and Destroyed for the Narcs’ gratification.<br /><br />Slowly, the Normals learned to ignore the Narc Disruptions or delete their truly vile hate speech. Of course, empowering the Normals to ignore a Narc, is a great insult: it denies folks the honor of being brutalized by a Narc- so when a Narc is ignored... literally... all hell breaks loose. And to Deny a Narc the Supreme Honor of having their words immortalized forever in an online conversation (when their words are deleted)... that breaks another couple of Dante’s levels loose.<br /><br />The Narc Owner received hundreds of complaints about one particular Conversation of Normals, because they were being so disrespectful and intolerant by denying the Narcs their RIGHTS to join (disrupt) all conversations. The Normal members of the Conversation explained that they got tired of being insulted and tired of the hate filled bigotry being lodged against them. They didn’t wander into other conversations and ‘flame’ the members; they stayed in their own conversation, and why can’t they just be left alone.<br /><br />The Narc Owner locked the Normal’s conversation area down, and told them- under NO circumstances would they be allowed to discuss this topic- in their own group- any where else on His Site. HE defines hate speech at his site; and the Normals were expressing hate, by not allowing others to participate. The Narcgod determined who had broken rules and who hadn’t; all conversations are Open and denying folks the right to speak was violating his rules. According to the Narcgod, the Normals were spewing hate speech when they offered any opinion of his Marauders that wasn’t glowing and positive. The Marauders were protected by the 2nd Amendment, but the Normals were being hateful when they refused to tolerate the disrespect. The Narcgod enacted his Double Standards tyrannically. This is HIS site and if they don’t like it, they can go elsewhere.<br /><br />Translation: If you will simply adore me and make me feel special- as I so richly deserve and as these folks did, you too, will be graced with my approval. If you cannot do that - then don’t let the door hit you on the way out.<br /><br />By believing they had the right to control their own conversation, the Normals usurped the Narcgod’s power and authority over them. These members contradicted the Narc Owner by believing his followers were breaking the rules; these Normals 'selfishly' enacted punitive measures against the Narc Marauders. The Normals dared to act like worthy beings, when in truth, they were subhuman and should allow his followers to verbally rape and brutalize them at any time.<br /><br />The Narc Owner was so skillful in crafting his own Universe and through years of typical Narc Responses (selective praise and overreacted punishment), he had deluded these Normals into believing that He was their supreme director online. They actually asked his permission to take their conversation elsewhere- to a private site- which he ‘graciously’ agreed to.<br /><br />These poor souls were convinced that they needed his permission to participate at someone else’s site!<br /><br />This group of Normals took their discussion to another private site, but continued to visit the Narcgod’s universe to enjoy the vast resources contributed by the members. This infuriated the Narcgod and his Army of Marauders. Now, they couldn’t see what the Normals were saying; they couldn’t D List the normals; their needs for validation and admiration were being thwarted, so the Marauders complained even louder.<br /><br />The Narcgod didn’t really want the Normals to take their conversation elsewhere; he wanted them to do exactly what he needed: provide fodder for his Army of Narcs; and to not only tolerate, but support the Army’s need to brutalize Normals. The Narcgod truly needed the <em>Normals to Do What He Said</em>, and he counted on the <em>Delusions of his Universe</em> to keep them in the site and providing victims for his Army.<br /><br />He never saw the consequences of forcing the Normals to take their conversation elsewhere and, he couldn’t tolerate anyone being so disrespectful- by simply enjoying a conversation outside his Universe. His universe is the only happy place and anyone not miserable outside his universe, is the vilest of humans. Eventually, he did what every Narc does when completely confounded: he disengaged... by banning them from his universe. His Marauders went out onto the internet to spew their vile opinions where ever these poor souls chose to voice their frustration over the situation. Yes, the Narc Marauders so enjoyed and needed the Demolishing, that they cyber stalked and cyber bullied these Normals- as is their 'delusional' right.<br /><br />There are more details in this example, because there is a higher probability of individuals falling victim to this type of Narcissistic Universe, and not realize it until they have been brutalized and raped verbally. This is an area of great concern, since folks cannot tell which Narcs are the paranoid variety and are capable of physically acting on their frustrations.<br /><br /><strong>In Conclusion....</strong><br /><br />Now this makes this Narcs sound evil, but that is the philisophical conundrum of Narcs: nothing they do is consciously evil; they aren't trying to hurt folks- for the sake of hurting others. All their actions are self defense mechanisims or survival techniques that secure their needs. The unfortunate fact is: Narcs have discovered that the Evil Methods work eaiser.<br /><br />Narcs are clearly aware of Right and Wrong, but they rarely see their own actions as Wrong. How can society clearly hold these individuals accountable, when they are emotionally and logically handicapped? I'm not saying we shouldn't hold them accountable; our difficult task is HOW to hold them accountable?<br /><br />TS Elliot wrote:<br />The last mistake is the greatest treason,<br />To do the Right thing, but for the wrong reason.<br /><br />Would not the same be true for Wrongs? The problem here is Motivation; when is an action Wrong- if the motivation isn't necessarily wrong?<br /><br />We bring these questions up, to help others re-think their personal approach to dealing with Narcs. Retribution and Revenge have never worked for us; and the books by mental health professionals echo this. Those are Wrongs with Right Motiviations.... Narcs use that approach for their very survival, so they are Masters of it.<br /><br />Normals will always fail, when they try to play a Narc's Game according to the Narc Rules of Engagement. Emotions are the Narc Tools of Success; Normals must be in complete control of their own emotions, or they will loose to a Narc everytime.<br /><br />To survive with Narcs, one must learn to Pity them and see them as handicapped children. When one begins to see their actions in their true light: as the desparation of a ill equiped child- one can learn to remain in control of one's emotions, and thwart the Narc's manipulations.<br /><br /></span><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-51190754607569073692009-04-14T13:26:00.000-07:002009-04-14T13:27:31.493-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEQOYtvo7PI4udQgmLIvJZMpmXBmLgBZ5deXCgWZ8gt9AYYH664mpRbglQiEwVIkhiEpoZdbKSZGh42vlBFfSbqj4bNmmSl926jljNpiryjSsDiVuE2aiAYZFWrVQ6tOLG9Hs6wOXlRY3w/s1600-h/Texas+Tea.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324646321436161378" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 306px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEQOYtvo7PI4udQgmLIvJZMpmXBmLgBZ5deXCgWZ8gt9AYYH664mpRbglQiEwVIkhiEpoZdbKSZGh42vlBFfSbqj4bNmmSl926jljNpiryjSsDiVuE2aiAYZFWrVQ6tOLG9Hs6wOXlRY3w/s400/Texas+Tea.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-19587471435538902182009-04-14T13:25:00.000-07:002009-04-14T13:26:34.572-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicQlNVDV4AxBh0ke6bJ_Vcto_X7mPIp08afd61ECd-TSOYwhLOjmFgj5uYHVKuE-YC6qbF6dxc1bKbNKf3tUvz91sk54j4xEbJjEazaRIhzsh-anUJ5gmqhQxXh9OZXsQL5W7JJrZYhgpu/s1600-h/TEA+Party+Fashions.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324646140274065522" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 306px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicQlNVDV4AxBh0ke6bJ_Vcto_X7mPIp08afd61ECd-TSOYwhLOjmFgj5uYHVKuE-YC6qbF6dxc1bKbNKf3tUvz91sk54j4xEbJjEazaRIhzsh-anUJ5gmqhQxXh9OZXsQL5W7JJrZYhgpu/s400/TEA+Party+Fashions.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-91033051780885663042009-04-02T07:27:00.000-07:002009-04-02T07:34:52.176-07:00General Behaviors of NPDMental Health Professionals have a specific set of behaviors that they use to diagnose NPD. <br />Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition, 1994<br /><br />We have taken their list, and added personal experiences to them, to give our readers a realistic view of Narcissists (Narcs for short.)<br /><br />Our greatest online Resource is:<br /><a href="http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html"> Narcissitic PersonalityDisorder</a><br /><br />The insights at this site have helped us to further develop our list of NPD Behaviors; from there we have developed strategies for coping and living with Narcs.<br /><br />Click on each Behavior for descriptions, and examples of these behaviors.<br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/1-grandiosity-narcs-are-special.html"> Grandiosity</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/2-fantasies-of-success-power-brilliance.html">Fantasies of Success, Power, Brilliance</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/3-narcs-are-special-everyone-else-is.html">Better than Everyone Else</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/4-require-excessive-admiration.html">Need Excessive Admiration</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/5-sense-of-entitlement.html">A Sense of Entitlement</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/6-selfishly-uses-others.html">Selfishly Uses Others</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/7-no-empathy-or-compassion.html">No Empathy or Compassion</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/8-envious-or-others-envy-them.html">Lots of Envy to Go Around</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/9-arrogant-haughty-contemptuous.html">Arrogant, Haughty & Contemptuous</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-7206950178725807272009-04-01T15:33:00.000-07:002009-04-02T11:35:31.973-07:00The "D" ListAs educated, intelligent people, we wanted to improve the relationships in our lives- both professional and personal.<br /><br />As we researched to learn how to better respond in certain situations, we discovered NPD- Narcissistic Personality Disorder.<br /><br />In discussing all the various defense mechanisms Narcissists employ, we discovered a helpful alliteration to desribe various Defense Mechanisms and behaviors Narcissists use to manipulate and control those around them.<br /><br />This is what we call The "D" List.<br /><br />(Click on each word for a complete description and examples of the behavior.<br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/delusions-delusional-delude-others.html">Delusions, Delusional, Deserving ,Deludes Others</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/delightful-hypnotize-manipulate.html">Delightful</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/disrupt.html">Disrupt</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/dodge.html" hrer="">Dodge</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/deflect.html">Deflect</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/detour.html">Detour</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/decoys-distract-discord.html">Decoy, Distract, Drama, Discord</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/devious-deceptive-decieve-double.html">Devious, Deceive, Deceptive, Disguises & Double Standards</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/defense-defend-defensive-situations.html">Defense, Defend, Defensive Situation</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/deflate-diminish-destroy.html">Deflate & Diminish, Destroy</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/demolish-deny.html">Demolish & Deny</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/defalcate.html">Defalcate</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/detatch-disengage.html">Detach, Disengage</a><br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/final-d-word-democrat.html">Democrat</A"><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/final-d-word-democrat.html"></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-77596594562070888722009-04-01T15:32:00.000-07:002009-04-02T11:34:35.514-07:00Delusions, Delusional, Delude Others,Narcs are <strong>Delusional</strong> about their status, abilities, attributes, and achievements. They believe they are Special and are above everyone around them.<br /><br />They will hand off the Day to Day Drudgery to anyone else, because they are too important to do simple chores.<br /><br />The believe their Achievements are much more spectacular than they really are, and they will get testy if they aren’t ‘recognized and praised’ for doing such a fabulous job of taking out the trash- even if that is two days late.<br /><br />They are So <strong>Deserving</strong> of all things wonderful.<br /><br />Narcs are masters at convincing folks that their own version of reality is more attractive, or that their <strong>Delusions</strong> are Reality.<br /><br />They <strong>Delude</strong> others with such skillfully crafted ‘stories’ or plans, that the words coming from their mouths are like a maze of mirrors at a carnival: all reflections that distort reality. When that Mirror Breaks- so does the narcissist.<br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/d-list.html">Back to <em>The D List</em> Index</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-28993427018629686872009-04-01T15:29:00.000-07:002009-04-02T06:05:24.035-07:00Delightful, Hypnotize, ManipulateNarcs are <strong>Delightful</strong>, as a means of <strong>Deluding</strong> others to accept their own <strong>Delusions</strong> of Grandeur.<br /><br />Narcs can be Charming, Charismatic, Visionary, Eloquent, Enigmatic... everything Normals would find emotionally attractive.<br /><br />Narcs are masters at <strong>Drawing</strong> others into their own<strong> Delusions</strong> using these attractive personality traits as the bait. However, the attractive attributes are a facade, like a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing.<br /><br />Narcs are masters of techniques that Dr. Vaknin and Dr. Bernstien label Hypnotizing. This is not the ‘mysterious methods’ that have people barking like dogs or acting like monkeys.<br /><br />The Hypnotizing that Narcs use are subtle Manipulations that illicit specific emotional responses in Normals. Convoluted to explain, frightening to see how successful they are.<br /><br />These manipulations follow the same principles of ‘Hypnosis,’ since they convince folks to do things they normally wouldn’t, as well as, altering reality in such a way that folks know it is too good to be true, but still believe the <strong>Delusion</strong>.<br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/d-list.html">Back to <em>The D List</em> Index</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-3103658288209818102009-04-01T15:26:00.000-07:002009-08-25T06:29:02.924-07:00DisruptNarcs must be the center of attention most of the time. They will <strong>Disrupt</strong> all interactions to bring the focus onto themselves.<br /><br />They <strong>Disrupt</strong>, or interrupt conversations with important (irrelevant) news; their highly unique point of view (unoriginal drivel); or just flat change the topic.<br /><br />They will <strong>Disrupt</strong> any successful work in progress that will make someone else look good, but not necessarily themselves.<br /><br />These <strong>Disruptions</strong> will seem innocent, but they are designed to sabotage the current project manager, and use this failure to make the Narc look good. (See <strong><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/deflate-diminish-destroy.html">Deflate</a></strong>).<br /><br />They will <strong>Disrupt</strong> a process by forcing themselves into the project- so they can share in the glory.<br /><br />As supervisors, they will change the direction of the work to reduce any possible notion that the Employees deserve praise, instead of the Narc.<br /><br />All of these<strong> Disruptions</strong> will leave Normals confused or scrambling, and will make the Narc look so much more cool, calm - like they are the only one who has any intelligence.<br /><br />The catch is: the Narc is responsible for the chaos, and is calm about it, because they don’t care if the project at hand is completed.<br /><br />Even if the incomplete project is their responsibility, the scrambling of the employees will provide them with sufficient scapegoats to <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/dodge.html">Dodge</a> and <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/deflect.html">Deflect</a>.<br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/d-list.html">Back to <em>The D List</em> Index</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-40022710704675756652009-04-01T15:25:00.001-07:002009-04-02T06:08:17.215-07:00DodgeNarcs<strong> Dodge</strong> anything that will <strong>Disrupt their Delusions</strong>, but especially Accountability, Responsibility, and even the Truth.<br /><br />They are never at fault for any of their mistakes; they never apologize- because that would mean accepting Responsibility for a mistake.<br /><br />Narcs Don’t make mistakes. Instead, everyone around them fails to live up to potential; thus creating flaws, shortages, or errors in the Narc’s work.<br /><br />If pushed, a Narc may acknowledge mistake, but someone else caused them to make the mistake.<br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/d-list.html">Back to <em>The D List</em> Index</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8653442692710564395.post-86746699747903917162009-04-01T15:23:00.000-07:002009-08-25T06:31:35.622-07:00DeflectAnother way to prevent anything from <strong>Disrupting the Delusion</strong> is to <strong>Deflec</strong>t Blame.<br /><br />Narcs are gifted in finding ways to Deflect Blame onto: the person confronting them, a pre-ordained scapegoat or whipping boy, the universe, fate, Destiny.<br /><br />If a boss confronts an employee: "You didn’t get those spread sheets done for me!"<br />The Narc Replies, "You never gave me the numbers."<br /><br />"I sent them in email, or left them on your desk, or I had someone else deliver them."<br /><br />"Well I never got them. If they were that important, you should have handed them to me personally."<br />Notice how this elevates the Narc’s own status by <a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/deflate-diminish-destroy.html">Diminishing</a> the Boss to that of a Messenger. And, the Boss cannot refute the assessment, because it maintains a certain logic. Narcs are masters of finding these little bits of logic and exploiting them to control the people around them.<br /><br />Free Lance or Contract Instructor (laborer): "I never received my pay check for the last 3 classes I taught here."<br /><br />Narc Program Director: "Well, you didn’t stop by my office to sign the ‘class enrollment sheets’ or you didn’t give the signed enrollment sheets to me."<br /><br />Instructor: " How can I do that? You are never in your office!"<br /><br />Narc: "That is not the attitude I accept from all of my other Instructors! I’m a Director and I have duties that don’t let me hide in my office. It is not my responsibility to make certain you do all that is necessary for me to get a paycheck to you."<br /><br />Translation: I lost the paperwork, or not paying you let me hide my accounting error that would have overdrawn our bank account, or, who are you and why are you here?<br /><br />Another type of <strong>Deflection</strong>: a Narc will accuse Normals of doing something, that the Narc has done themself. It is a means of <strong>Deflecting</strong> their own guilt over an action onto the Normal, so the Narc doesn’t have to deal with their own guilt.<br /><br />In one marriage we are familiar with, the Narc wife will accuse the Normal husband of over spending, when the Narc spends ten times as much as the Normal.<br /><br />In another relationship, the Narc Parent will accuse the Normal Teen of staying out too late, when the parent spends every night at a bar, coming home well past midnight. No, the Narc is not home to see when the Teen gets home, but they deflect their own guilt onto the Teen.<br /><br /><a href="http://dumpadapt.blogspot.com/2009/04/d-list.html">Back to <em>The D List</em> Index</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2