Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Devious, Deceptive, Decieve, Double Standard

For Normals, it appears that all of a Narc’s actions are Devious, Deceptive or they are purposefully trying to Deceive.

They will Disguise actions that most Normals would take pride in, just so they won't have to suffer any consequences. Such as Obama secretly discussing ways of searching and seizing laptops, PDAs and MP3 players under the disguise of Copyright Protections.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yPmtQDWZ1s

Although their actions are Devious and Deceptive, this isn’t necessarily a conscious effort; most of the time their Deceptions are Defense Mechanisms to ‘protect’ themselves or to secure something for their survival. They instinctively take the Devious path- because it is always successful, and then they Delude themselves that this is a morally proper path.

We’ve heard about a conversation with a Normal who had learned how to circumvent a Narc’s Deceptive ways of manipulating.

Narc: Oh, I just got word that my cousin died...then spent 10 minutes regaling their history of this cousin and how special their time together had been.

Normal: I’m so sorry for your loss. When was the last time you saw this cousin?

Narc: hmmm... (pausing to think)... well, I went to their wedding, and I remember having to get a baby sitter for my oldest child...

Normal: Oh, so it’s been 40 years since you last saw them.

Narc: Yes, time flies and I so badly want to go to the funeral, but it is a 2 hour drive, and I’m just not certain I could make the drive and not cry all the way there.

This is where this Narc is hoping for the Normal to step forward with Empathy and offer to drive them to the Funeral.

Normal: Well, it has been so long since you last saw them, and since it would put your safety at risk, I believe the family will understand if you don’t make it.

Narc: (obviously frustrated that the trap didn’t work). I need to pay my respects. I owe it to their family.

The Normal tried to offer several options, such sending flowers (they die too quick) or a Fruit basket (I don’t know what they would like), or a donation to a charity or church (that’s is too impersonal); or sending a check to offset any funeral costs (The post office could steal the money.)...

Finally, the Narc is angry and bold face asks the Normal: WILL YOU TAKE ME TO THE FUNERAL.

The Normal used logic to thwart the Narc: No, I cannot take you. My car is not reliable enough to make the drive.

Narc: We can take my car.

Normal: Do you realize the time that will be involved with this: a two hour drive-both to and from the funeral, is 4 hours of just driving. Then we will spend another hour in the service then 30 minutes getting inline to go to the cemetery. That comes to 51/2 hours. Now add another Hour driving to and from the Cemetery; plus another 30 minutes for the prayers at the cemetery and that brings us to 7 hours. Now add another hour or two for meals and it will be a 9 hour ordeal that I can’t afford the time to do.

The Narc yells and tries guilt to manipulate, and eventually hung up.

Narcs are such masters at Deception that they even Deceive themselves. They begin to believe their lies; they believe their Delusions; and they even convince themselves that all of their actions are morally correct.

With Beliefs built on Deception, Narcs cannot tolerate ANYTHING that could Disrupt their Delusions; consequentially, the slightest of contradictions from a Normal is something a Narc must treat as a mortal sin. This manifests itself as an obvious Double Standard.

The Narc and a Normal can commit the same act, but the Narc will maintain that the Normal should be punished as if they had committed a capitol crime, while maintaining that their own actions are perfectly acceptable.

This Double Standard shows up in message boards with growing frequency.

Narc: I just can’t stand the (insert any political-religious-cultural group or legal issue stance)! They are all greedy, selfish, hate filled (insert vulgar epitaph), and they all deserve to suffer horrible painful deaths!

Normal: Goodness, that was rather harsh. Are you sure you want to be saying such things on a public message board? Some folks would see that as hate speech.

Narc: the ensuing conversation is so violent and filled with hate and vulgar language that we can’t repeat it in a public blog like this one.

A Normal reaction to a post filled with hate, is to feel Angry and Defensive, which is how a Narc hypnotizes a Normal. The Normal cannot understand how their statement was so horrific- to trigger such a vicious onslaught....

The Normal’s Defense of themselves- with strong words- then allows the Narc’s fellow Narcs to rally around the ‘injustice’ against their friend, and then ALL of them begin violent, hate-filled speech directed at the lone Normal.

Disturbingly, we’ve begun to see where the situations are being staged, and Normals are being duped into being the Instigator, just so a group of Narcs have a victim to verbally rape and brutalize (no, those words are not an exaggeration; they are quite appropriate).

Sometimes, the initial Hate Speech is stated for the sole purpose of offending someone into taking an opposing stance, just so the Group of Narcs has someone to verbally Demolish. This allows them to Deflate someone to Inflate themselves; Deflect their negative emotions onto someone else; etc...

This is further Deconstructed in Defense & Defend.

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