Narcs have no self esteem of their own, so they make themselves feel Superior, by making everyone around them look or feel inferior.
Narcs have numerous techniques of Deflating and Diminishing the people around them. When pushed to perform or they are held accountable for their own mistakes, a Narc instinctively knows which buttons to push to Destroy or Demolish anyone who dares to Disrupt their Delusion.
Narcs keep others around them ‘off balance,’ and/or they hypnotize folks into constantly striving to please the Narc.
They accomplish this by Diminishing Normals with harsh criticisms on the tiniest of imperfections, and rarely offer any positive feedback. Eventually, the Normal will accept a simple "Thanks" as glowing praise, since there is so little positive reenforcement from Narcs.
Instead of complimenting others on small achievements, they Diminish those accomplishments.
Normal: I just made a Huge sale and put my team over 100% for the quarter, and we have two weeks left!
Narc: Big Deal. You want a Nobel Prize for that?! Do you think that is going to solve the economy problems?
And the Next Day, the Narc will pull that Double Standard by bringing in Doughnuts to thank the crew for helping the Narc to merely meet his required sales goal.
The Narc used a Decoy to Deflect praise from the other big Sale; Diminished the other person for not sharing their victory and buying doughnuts, and made everyone in the Office Love the Narc, despite their tyrannical leadership and Dodging Responsibility by Deflecting blame onto the Subordinates for his own failures.
Without saying anything directly negative, the Narc has Diminished the accomplishment and Deflated the Normal’s Self Esteem.
And then the Narc will Destroy his opponent by saying, ‘Well, if your sales were so good, why didn’t you bring Doughnuts for the rest of the Office? Are you so selfish to not recognize how everyone else helped you achieve that goal?"
This is another Deflection, blaming someone else for doing the exact same thing as the Narc, so the narc has a scapegoat and can absolve themselves of this guilt.
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