Wednesday, April 1, 2009

3. Narcs are Special! Everyone else is worthless.

3. Narcs believe that they are "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions). Narcissists think that everyone who is not special and superior is worthless. By definition, normal, ordinary, and average aren't special and superior, and so, to narcissists, they are worthless.

An example of this is how President Obama snubbed British Prime Minister Brown, but then did all sorts of extraordinary measures to be in the presence of the Queen.

Some of the Narcs in our circle have latched on to a Higher Status/Celebrity type of person, and when that assocation didn't feed their own egos, the association was terminated. This Narc treats the rest of their family like slaves or sub humans, because the Narc needs the feeling of superiority.

One of the narcs in my family doesn't have a person of status that they are enamored with, this person has a figure they fear, and the Narc's responses become that of an abuse victim: trying to win the approval of the abuser, while complaining and griping about it behind their back. These conflicting responses keeps the rest of us in constant fear of saying something that will send this narc on a postal rampage for 'contradicing' his attitude at that time.

This Sense of Specialness manifests in other ways, such as Double Standards. They believe they are above the law, or their mistakes don’t warrant the same level of punishment, because they are so special. This could also be explained that because everyone else is ‘sub human’ compared to them, that the mistakes of others are twice as bad as their own, just because no one else is as special as the Narc.

Narcs maintain Double Standards and either have no clue that what they are doing is discriminatory, or they don’t see how this is a negative thing.

The Narcs in our lives use this extensively in arguments.
Through the course of at least 45 minutes with the Normal pulling facts out of the Narc, one by one, this is how the Argument would end:
Normal: It’s midnight, and you were supposed to be home at 5:30! How inconsiderate, that you didn’t call me to let me know you were going to have dinner with a client. That was disrespectful to turn your cell phone off, so my constant calling wouldn’t interrupt your conversation! Are your clients more important than the person who is spending the rest of your life with? Are your clients more important than the mother of your children?! I was ready to start calling hospitals and the police!
Narc: Well! It was an important meeting, and my calling you would have made me look weak in front of the client and you embarrassed me with all those calls! If I loose this client, it will be your fault for being such an insecure, whining, idiot! Is that what you want!? HUH!? For us to be homeless and penniless, because you were worried for a couple of hours?!

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