Carefully Constructed Universes- part 2

The Perfect Narcissist Universe: Online Communities

Another Narc has been an absolute Genius in creating his Universe; he built an online community targeted towards specific hobbies.

The Narc created a virtual community that had everything enthusiasts and hobbyists would want: personal storage areas, design areas to plan their next construction project, a show and tell section, an area similar to a library where members could add their resource materials, and an internal email system.

The Narc created conversation areas for members to share their experiences and educate new members with tutorials, tips & tricks.

He created an ‘all site’ search engine, so members could see all the finished projects, all the schematics, all the supplies, all the tools, all the resources, all the Show and Tells of every member within the community.

Eventually the Owner added technology to sell instructions and schematics for the members’ own creations.

The community grew incredibly fast, gaining hundreds of thousands of members within one year. The members were very vocal in the conversation area of how wonderful this site was! What a genius the Owner was to include so many features.

Eventually, the Narc let the members create their own message boards where they could discuss one topic, that was NOT centered on the general community... like favorite books or movies or television shows.

The one truly unique thing about this site, was that ALL the conversation areas were open. Anyone- at anytime- could join a conversation and add their opinions. There were no private conversations.

By the time one of us joined, it was a thriving community with well established codes of conduct and behavior. What happened in the conversation areas and message boards DID NOT adhere to the written rules and codes of conduct as created and posted by the NarcOwner, regardless, there were well established behaviors, and expectations.

The Owner would pop into conversations to add his ‘special insight’ which shouldn’t have been such a awe-inspiring incident, except the Narc Members made it a national holiday. As Narcs themselves, they believed they the Owner joined their conversations, because they were so special and deserving ( Narc Trait #3). The Owner being a Narc, enjoyed and encouraged the Admiration ( Narc Trait #4). All this excitement over the Owner joining a conversation, reenforced the Delusions of the Narcs, and deluded the Normals into believing the delusions.

I had discovered NPD only months before I joined the community, so I didn’t recognize the Behaviors for several weeks. Eventually I did, but not before I had been verbally brutalized several times by the members, and the Narc Owner himself- when I voiced my concerns about the bigotry, prejudice and potential crimes happening within the conversations.

There were blatant Double Standards where ideologies from one side were never tolerated, but those who diametrically opposed those ideologies were given free reign to be vile, vindictive, vulgar and hateful . The average conversation was a staged Defensive Situation- where the Narcs would instigate a verbal war to make themselves look the Victim. There were Disruptions and Disrespect. There was obvious Destroying and Demolishing; Drama & Discord.

As Good Little Narcs, the instigators always Denied their roles in the battles, Deflected blame onto their Victims, and Dodged all responsibility and accountability.

Other Normals would complain to the Owner about the abuse they were suffering and how these people weren’t following his rules. The Owner would at first, Dismiss the victim for misinterpreting the actions, and if they didn’t begin praising the Owner for his wisdom (Trait #4), (ie, they dared to question his authority and his ability to define what behaviors did or did not break his rules), he would punish the Complainant verbally. Lawyers- who were members just trying to enjoy a hobby- voiced warnings of potential lawsuits and crimes, but the Narc Owner ignored them. Contradicting a Narc is a cardinal sin, so he punished them with the one thing a Narc hates the most: disrespect by dismissing their opinions.

To make matters worse, the members who caused all the Drama, were the ones who were loudest in singing the Owner’s praises. They were the ones who started financial donation drives to help the owner buy new equipment- so there would be plenty of room for the enormous database of the members’ belongings. They were the ones who would plant the idea in conversations that everyone should donate even more money to the site. The most Abusive members were the Narcgod’s best supporters, and most rabid- uh avid- fans.

Eventually, Normals learned to create their own conversation areas and did not wander into other conversations. When the Normals left the Narcs’ conversations, the Narcs had no one to Deflate & Diminish. Consequentially, the Narcs began roam all the conversation areas like marauders looking for excuses to Disrupt, Dismiss, Disrespect, and create Defensive Situations, so that Normals could be Demolished and Destroyed for the Narcs’ gratification.

Slowly, the Normals learned to ignore the Narc Disruptions or delete their truly vile hate speech. Of course, empowering the Normals to ignore a Narc, is a great insult: it denies folks the honor of being brutalized by a Narc- so when a Narc is ignored... literally... all hell breaks loose. And to Deny a Narc the Supreme Honor of having their words immortalized forever in an online conversation (when their words are deleted)... that breaks another couple of Dante’s levels loose.

The Narc Owner received hundreds of complaints about one particular Conversation of Normals, because they were being so disrespectful and intolerant by denying the Narcs their RIGHTS to join (disrupt) all conversations. The Normal members of the Conversation explained that they got tired of being insulted and tired of the hate filled bigotry being lodged against them. They didn’t wander into other conversations and ‘flame’ the members; they stayed in their own conversation, and why can’t they just be left alone.

The Narc Owner locked the Normal’s conversation area down, and told them- under NO circumstances would they be allowed to discuss this topic- in their own group- any where else on His Site. HE defines hate speech at his site; and the Normals were expressing hate, by not allowing others to participate. The Narcgod determined who had broken rules and who hadn’t; all conversations are Open and denying folks the right to speak was violating his rules. According to the Narcgod, the Normals were spewing hate speech when they offered any opinion of his Marauders that wasn’t glowing and positive. The Marauders were protected by the 2nd Amendment, but the Normals were being hateful when they refused to tolerate the disrespect. The Narcgod enacted his Double Standards tyrannically. This is HIS site and if they don’t like it, they can go elsewhere.

Translation: If you will simply adore me and make me feel special- as I so richly deserve and as these folks did, you too, will be graced with my approval. If you cannot do that - then don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

By believing they had the right to control their own conversation, the Normals usurped the Narcgod’s power and authority over them. These members contradicted the Narc Owner by believing his followers were breaking the rules; these Normals 'selfishly' enacted punitive measures against the Narc Marauders. The Normals dared to act like worthy beings, when in truth, they were subhuman and should allow his followers to verbally rape and brutalize them at any time.

The Narc Owner was so skillful in crafting his own Universe and through years of typical Narc Responses (selective praise and overreacted punishment), he had deluded these Normals into believing that He was their supreme director online. They actually asked his permission to take their conversation elsewhere- to a private site- which he ‘graciously’ agreed to.

These poor souls were convinced that they needed his permission to participate at someone else’s site!

This group of Normals took their discussion to another private site, but continued to visit the Narcgod’s universe to enjoy the vast resources contributed by the members. This infuriated the Narcgod and his Army of Marauders. Now, they couldn’t see what the Normals were saying; they couldn’t D List the normals; their needs for validation and admiration were being thwarted, so the Marauders complained even louder.

The Narcgod didn’t really want the Normals to take their conversation elsewhere; he wanted them to do exactly what he needed: provide fodder for his Army of Narcs; and to not only tolerate, but support the Army’s need to brutalize Normals. The Narcgod truly needed the Normals to Do What He Said, and he counted on the Delusions of his Universe to keep them in the site and providing victims for his Army.

He never saw the consequences of forcing the Normals to take their conversation elsewhere and, he couldn’t tolerate anyone being so disrespectful- by simply enjoying a conversation outside his Universe. His universe is the only happy place and anyone not miserable outside his universe, is the vilest of humans. Eventually, he did what every Narc does when completely confounded: he disengaged... by banning them from his universe. His Marauders went out onto the internet to spew their vile opinions where ever these poor souls chose to voice their frustration over the situation. Yes, the Narc Marauders so enjoyed and needed the Demolishing, that they cyber stalked and cyber bullied these Normals- as is their 'delusional' right.

There are more details in this example, because there is a higher probability of individuals falling victim to this type of Narcissistic Universe, and not realize it until they have been brutalized and raped verbally. This is an area of great concern, since folks cannot tell which Narcs are the paranoid variety and are capable of physically acting on their frustrations.

In Conclusion....

Now this makes this Narcs sound evil, but that is the philisophical conundrum of Narcs: nothing they do is consciously evil; they aren't trying to hurt folks- for the sake of hurting others. All their actions are self defense mechanisims or survival techniques that secure their needs. The unfortunate fact is: Narcs have discovered that the Evil Methods work eaiser.

Narcs are clearly aware of Right and Wrong, but they rarely see their own actions as Wrong. How can society clearly hold these individuals accountable, when they are emotionally and logically handicapped? I'm not saying we shouldn't hold them accountable; our difficult task is HOW to hold them accountable?

TS Elliot wrote:
The last mistake is the greatest treason,
To do the Right thing, but for the wrong reason.

Would not the same be true for Wrongs? The problem here is Motivation; when is an action Wrong- if the motivation isn't necessarily wrong?

We bring these questions up, to help others re-think their personal approach to dealing with Narcs. Retribution and Revenge have never worked for us; and the books by mental health professionals echo this. Those are Wrongs with Right Motiviations.... Narcs use that approach for their very survival, so they are Masters of it.

Normals will always fail, when they try to play a Narc's Game according to the Narc Rules of Engagement. Emotions are the Narc Tools of Success; Normals must be in complete control of their own emotions, or they will loose to a Narc everytime.

To survive with Narcs, one must learn to Pity them and see them as handicapped children. When one begins to see their actions in their true light: as the desparation of a ill equiped child- one can learn to remain in control of one's emotions, and thwart the Narc's manipulations.